Is This An Emergency?


Probably not. I keep telling myself I should start a blog called, “Addison’s Cookbook” with an actual recipe, or something.

But some stuff has been bothering me, and, as previously stated I really don’t know how to cook. So, I’ll try to get a recipe up later today, but no promises.

Last night, I had salmon with my dinner. It was good. It had been made two days before yesterday. Rumor has it fish’ll hold for about four days if it’s wrapped and refrigated. So I figured I was fine. My one partner taste tested it before I ate it and said it was fine.

After I got full, my other partner ate the rest.

The only problem is, after I ate it, I started feeling nauseous. A while later, the other person who’d eaten the fish developed an upset stomach, too. Now, it probably had nothing to do with the fish.

I get nauseous sometimes on steroids anyway. And believe it, or not, I’m not a hypochondriac, nor am I prone to psychosomatic symptoms.

But I worry. Even though worry is stressful, and stress is bad for the adrenal glands, especially if they aren’t functioning properly.

It’s not so much that the fish made me feel sick, as that something made me feel sick. I was more worried about it being fish, because I know the body rejects food that isn’t good for it. Fortunately, I almost never vomit, even when I’m really, really sick. The only exception is when I’m dehydrated. But anything else, even the flu, and I’m usually fine.

Here’s the problem. If I vomit once, I have prescription anti-nausea medication to take to try to prevent me from vomiting again. I also have to take more hydrocortisone, and try desperately to keep it down. Because, if I vomit twice, for any reason, I have to go to the hospital. This is because my body will be expelling not only nutrients, but also fluids and steroids. If you have Addison’s and you don’t have steroids, especially if you’re sick and/or undergoing any kind of trauma, you can die. So normally, when I go to the hospital, I have to get an IV of hydrocortisone and fluids. That also means I have to stay in the hospital until the doctors can a) dig up an endocrinologist from somewhere to tell them what to do, and b) wean me off steroids until the dose is low enough that I can go home and step down the dosage orally. If I’m super lucky, and it’s a small thing (yeah, right. Nothing is small with Addison’s, so a smaller thing) I can just up my dosage get a nice medrol pack of prednesone from the people in ER, and go home and step down off of that.

Also, for the past three days, my left eye has been twitching randomly for most of the day. I have no idea why, but I suspect the steroids. When I searched “eye twitch” and “steroids”, a bunch of results came up. Mostly, they had to do with body builders, not the chronically ill. I’m sure body builders have good reasons for what they do, but why anyone would go on steroids when they don’t have to is beyond me. It’s extremely annoying, but I already have a doctor’s appointment set up for next week, so as long as it doesn’t get any worse, I’ll ask him then.

This is my life. Is this from steroids? Is it from stress? Is it something I ate? Am I getting sick? Should I up my dosage (coloquially, stress dosing)? Should I stay where I’m at? Do I need to tell my doctor, my naturopath, my family? Do we need to pack everything up in case of an emergency? Is my life in danger? Is it something completely unrelated? Is it nothing? Am I developing more autoimmune problems? Am I overreacting? Is this just something I need to deal with.

I have a collection now. Little plastic hospital bracelets with my name, admittance date, and allergies listed on them. One time, when I got home from the hospital, I was in tears. I had had strep throat for four months and I was having an allergic reaction to two seperate medications. So I was on eighteen medications a day. It turned out my previous endocrinologist had given me medication not commonly used for Addison’s and had me on doses far too low for what my body needed. I cut off my bracelet and wrote, “STILL HERE!” And the date. Since then, everytime I’ve gone to the hospital, (and that’s been a lot, especially before I switched to a much more competent doctor), I’ve kept my bracelets. I write, “Still here,” on each, though the writing wears off sometimes, and I also write the date, and if there’s room, what I was admitted for.

I’ve been okay before. Long, long, before Addison’s and Fibromyalgia I walked through fire and lived to tell the tale. But every time something goes really wrong, I wonder, “Is this it?” “Am I going to be okay again, or is this the end of the line?”

But it didn’t escalate last night. I felt fine after a while. My twitching eye is very annoying, but it doesn’t seem life-threatening, not even to someone who could potentially die of the flu or a simple stomach virus.

Whenever it is, it isn’t right now. It probably isn’t today. Today, regardless of how I feel, I am STILL HERE.

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